Netherlands Castle Dweller
Becoming More a Part of the World
by Maggie Berwind-Dart
(http://www.escapeartist.com/efam/35/castle_dweller.html)
Maggie Berwind-Dart was born in San Francisco, and lived there for the first 18 years of her life. After high school, she moved to Boston, where shes lived ever since. The only break from New England life was her four-month stay in the Netherlands. Bostons Emerson College, where she was an undergraduate, owns a castle in a small Dutch town, and Maggie spent her final semester there. It was one of the best things shes ever done!
Everyone has a story from his or her life that illustrates the complex beauty of the world we live in. Ive often thought that one of most appealing and enduring aspects of travel, particularly travel though a foreign country, is the way it fills you out as an individual, gives you a broader range of knowledge and experience on which to build a sense of self and place. The stories Ive heard from friends who have traveled and lived far from home all reflect this broadened perspective, this heightened sense of who they are which they achieved by forgetting themselves for a while. In paying attention to what other people make of life, these friends of mine augmented and altered their views on life here at home in the United States.
The philosopher Pascal once said that much if not all of what we do in life is done so we can tell others of our great accomplishment and adventure, rather than for the sheer joy of the experience itself. Though I resonate with some of his ideas, here I find his observation on a human habit a little too cynical for my taste. I think the stories we tell one another, the experiences we cherish and share, bring life to relationships and allow people to learn from one another. It is with this in mind that I offer my story of the semester I spent living in a remote castle in the Netherlands.
In the fall of 2000, I spent three and a half months living in a 12th century castle in the tiny Dutch town of Well, about an hour outside of Amsterdam and about as far as you can get from the ultra-urban environs Im accustomed to. I went as part of a study abroad program run by Emerson College, which owns the castle and sends a group of students there each semester. I was 24 at the time, a good five or six years older than most of the other students.
For me, the experience was somewhat more adult than it was for most exchange students. I had been living on my own since I was 18, and leading a fairly adult and independent lifestyle, and now here I was thrown together with people I didnt know in a dusty old castle surrounded by two moats and sprawling acres of farmland.
 The castle was old and delapidated, lovely from the outside and strangely sterile and pale on the inside. I think this was due in large part to the high cost of keeping up a crumbling castle, and the exterior lovingly cared for because thats what most people see. The castle grounds were private property and therefore not open the public, though many tourists on day-trips from neighboring Germany tried to slip past the gate to get a closer look. Signs reading Verboten Togang (Entry Forbidden) marked the gates, and we were supposed to shew people away when they disobeyed. I always pretended not to see them, so they could wander the grounds uninterrupted -- I think beauty should be shared!
During the first two weeks of my Netherlands residence, I didnt venture outside my little Dutch town. Though it was a bit strange to live so far from home, in a creaky old castle, we were living in a fairly insulated world, surrounded by universals (trees, rivers, fields and small houses) rather than the particulars that make a country unique and foreign to outsiders (language, distinct architecture, unfamiliar customs). It seemed safest to get my bearings before I stepped out into the bustle and hum of the countrys famous and sexy capitol.
 I had visited Europe before, once with my parents when I was 10 and again with a boyfriend when I was 22. My parents and I had traveled across much of the continent, never staying in any one city for more than a couple of nights. My boyfriend and I had spent an entire week in Prague, wandering the streets of that haunting and melancholy city. But living in a foreign country was entirely new to me and proved at once stranger and more natural than I could ever have imagined.
The difference, in terms of aesthetics, from what I was accustomed to struck me first. The houses looked so unlike any Id seen in the United States! Most homes were compact and square, small and boxy like so many of the cars people drove there. The windows were enormous, bare of curtains and blinds, and faced the street. I went for a walk through the village every evening, and I never really got used to being able to see into peoples living rooms, seeing them eat dinner at their table or watch television together.
 The townspeople viewed us with both curiosity and apprehension. Emerson has owned the castle for about 15 years, so people in the town of Well are used to the twice-yearly influx of students. Yet I dont think theyve ever quite adjusted to the noise that comes along with so many young Americans living abroad for the first time in a country where the drinking age is 19. Being on the one hand an American in a foreign country and on the other a 25-year-old living with people who were 19, I found myself a bit of an all around outsider. Far from being negative, this outsider position gave me the chance to observe small town Dutch life and the way fairly urban young Americans reacted to such an unfamiliar way of life. In the end, I felt welcome to mix and mingle with both the townspeople and my fellow students, free to move back and forth between the two as I pleased.
 The Vink, one of two small bars in the town of Well, proved to be a very popular evening hang out spot. It was such a quirky little place, with a small indoor fountain lit by red bulbs and plastic gnomes sitting on swings that hung from the ceiling. The beer was inexpensive, as was the food. The townspeople who wanted nothing to do with the American castle dwellers knew to avoid the Vink, which for 15 years has been the destination of choice for restless students in need of a study break. The locals who did come to the bar were quite curious about us, and wanted to tell us all about their lives and their thoughts on the United States.
I was delighted to find that most people I spoke with felt kindly towards the U.S. and wanted to know all about what life in the states is like. At the same time, there was a great love of all things Dutch and great pride in the moral and educational philosophies of the Netherlands. One young man I spoke with had graduated from University by the time he was 19, and had been working as an architect ever since. He had designed the school building in the center of town; it was a building I had immediately noticed, thanks to its modern style and bright colored trim. When I told him I was a fan of his work, he smiled and shrugged and said that he too was pleased with it, but it was no big thing. I do what I love, he said. I do what Im best at. Shouldnt we all?
 Yes, I replied. I suppose we should.
The fact that most Dutch men and women speak English made living in the Netherlands a comfortable, fluid experience. This fluency in English is more prevalent in the larger towns and cities, though even in my little village of Well most people spoke enough to make simple, straightforward communication possible. I was never made to feel shy about my skimpy Dutch vocabulary, and most people said they liked the opportunity to practice speaking English.
When I finally did take the hour-long train ride to Amsterdam, I found it remarkably different from life in Well. I suppose that makes sense, and certainly life in Americas cities is quite unlike suburban or rural existence even within the same state. But what I noticed was the lack of interest the city dwellers had for the country town Id come to love. Many of the people I met in Amsterdam had never heard of Well, and most asked me why on earth Id come all that way to live in a cow town! Well, I said more than once that Id come to love the town of Well for being so decidedly Dutch, and Amsterdam for being so gloriously cosmopolitan.
 Few people venture outside of Amsterdam when they visit the Netherlands, and what a shame that is! Though there's little a Dutch village can offer that rivals Amsterdam's bold, bright nightlife, the details of daily life that I was able to see gave me a keen sense of the day-to-day realities of an existence that is seldom discovered in an ultra urban environment. But, urban or rural, the world is remarkably similar in the make-up of its inhabitants. We may have different customs and habits, but we're essentially all the same. Travel and living among peoples of other countries allows one to see this in all its vivid reality.
Author Unknown
Monday, March 11, 2002
http://www.blurst.com/archive/2002_03_01_index.php
In the spring of 1995, I spent three months in the town of Well in the Netherlands. Well has a population of just over five people and primarily produces pork products and drunk college kids. Seriously, the town is smaller than a Boston city block and has three bars. Even that's a lot Boston. Still, i had a great time, one of the best of my life, although i don't think i would let any of the 60 kids that i went with know that. They wouldn't admit it either, although i suspect it to be more true than not.
Well is on the River Maas and during the second week of our trip, the river flooded. The Dutch are famous for their dykes and their curiously low lands. Well, the dykes didn't hold and well all watched as the fields of our small farming comunity flooded from the downside up. Lush patures had become soggy bogs overnight and threatened to destroy our temporary home, a 13th century castle. 60 students and our faculty guides were escorted from the grounds by Dutch military to a bus that whisked us off to Amsterdam and then onto a summer camp site just over the boarder in Germany, where we spent a week singing camp songs and drinking strong pilsners.
Excert from Jennifer Neustein's
"Memoirs of the Not-So-Rich and Famous"
(see "Castle Links" to read more entries)
May 4, 2002
This has been the most intimate experiance of my life and I love all of my 78 castle dwellers. We have all shared an experiance that no one else could ever begin to understand, in fact, I hardly understand it myself sometimes. I will cherish all of the memories and bonds we have made in our semester studying & traveling in europe, forever. You are the makers of the stories I will one day share with my children. I've been looking so foreward to going home- yet now that its here, I want to continue to build the friendships I have made & continue on my path here. But life, as it is crazy sometimes, is leading all of us back to Bostonm and although the setting & time will be different I know that the respect and utter joy I feel for all of you will continue. Thank you for the memories, laughs, hugs, dances, tears, and above all, friendship. We are truely a group with "special energy" There are so many good people in this world, & I feel privelidged to have shared this experiance with all of you. So thats that letter-then, because the internet was down & I couldnt write here, I made some notes to myself on paper: I will miss the Vink. I have lived in a CASTLE for almost 4 months. I have been to over 10 countries. I never thought I would cry about leaving. I never thought that when Miles said that theyd all be waiting for me when I got back that they would be. I never thought I would/could have such good friends. My friends are amazing people. I've learned that I'm very low mantenance in all relationships in life...day to day life, not so much. (i already knew i couldnt spell...) i forgot all about PUSH IT DOWN for waaaaaay too long...Love & Epherial Giddyness to you all, ~Jen
By Kelli Acciardo
Published in the Emerson College Beacon
Home Away From Home Blues A few short months ago Ricky Simeone, a junior at Emerson College, was buying travel books, comparing backpacks and stocking up on film. He was preparing for the moment when his plane would take off and he would arrive in The Netherlands to start his semester abroad. With his thoughts concerning new people, a different language and foreign food, he never suspected that returning home would be harder than leaving.
The hardest thing about being back home is the stagnancy of it all, the lack of adventure, says Simeone.
Living in a 12th century castle with 77 other students contributed to this adventure, along with traveling around Europe on the weekends. Nikki Hotvedt, a close friend of Simeones, who also participated in Emersons study abroad program, agrees that it was hard to come home.
What was different about being in the States again was seeing my culture as a culture, rather than just being a part of it, says Hotvedt. Luckily people warned me about coming back. They prepared me and that was helpful, you have to be ready to accept change.
Change did not come easily for Simeone though. I miss the cobblestone sidewalks and the old boards creaking in the castle. I miss hearing peoples footsteps and being able to recognize them, he says.
Although there are definite down sides to returning from a country you have started to identify with, there are also many moments of appreciation and reflection. Michael Joosten, an Emerson sophomore who was at the castle last fall as well, looks forward to traveling more in the future.
Seeing the ways other people think, helps you to become a better member of a global community, says Joosten. Also, realizing the rarity of an abroad opportunity is important. The fact that you are getting to see more of the world in four months than 95% of the population will see in their lifetime is huge.
Memories are two-fold in the sense that they remind people of the good times they had while they were away, but reminiscing can also be sad and overwhelming as soon as the experience is over. Returning students are often confused and upset, or completely numb, not knowing how to feel when they re-enter the life they have been away from for so long. Understanding that these emotions are to be expected is the first step to making the healing process easier.
Everyone Is Going Through It Together
One of the benefits of a study-abroad program is getting the chance to meet new people and to form friendships that you might not have otherwise. Traveling together, along with taking classes and living in the same area, can make people closer. Waking up one day without these people surrounding you can be strange.
David Griffin, the Assistant Director of External Programs at Emerson College explains this feeling as reverse culture shock. You have to get used to the U.S. again, something you thought you knew well, as far as food and money, now feels new again. It is too soon to process what you have been through. Some people want to talk about it and others dont. However, you should not feel like you have to make meaning right away. This will take time, Griffin says.
Simeone agrees that time is needed; although he is still not sure that this will help. Leaving the castle was like losing a loved one. Our experience was filled with joy and sorrow, it made us more human. Everyone had an amazing semester, no one had a mediocre time, he says.
Whatever your method of readjustment may be, keep in mind that your study-abroad peers are going through the same thing. It is hard to pick up right where you left off and it is ok if you are not ready to do this.
I didnt want to adjust back to American culture, says Simeone. However, for those people who do need to reestablish connections with family and friends, try to realize that this might not be that easy.
Past Relationships May Be Different Now
As excited as you are to get home and tell all of your travel stories, people might get tired of hearing you always talking about them. While parents tend to be more supportive of letting you ramble on about one weekend in Paris, the friends you had before you left can react differently.
Hotvedt can relate to this all too well. There is definitely a separation between you and the people you return to, she says.
Andrew Wishnia, an Emerson Junior who was a RA (resident advisor) at the castle agrees. It is hard for family and friends to understand you since they were not there. It creates tension, he says.
Coming back home requires the ability to be honest with yourself, according to Terri Davis, a therapist at Emersons Counseling Center. She says that you have to realize that you have changed; you are not the same person you once were. You might not be interested in the friends you thought would be the same when you came back, Davis says.
Counselors Make Good Listeners Too
If you feel like you need someone else to talk to besides those people at home, there are always counselors. Davis says, When your adjustment is getting in the way of classes, relationships or work and you feel depressed or anxious, counselors can offer dealing with life strategies.
Feeling overwhelmed is common, but Davis has some suggestions for coping. A few of these are: time management, reasonable expectation of self, flexibility of friends and most importantly, self-awareness.
People always come back saying how much everyone has changed. Counselors help students to see the change in themselves, says Davis.
Appreciate The Experience
Griffin hopes that after the program is over, students will have a better knowledge of European culture. Most people have roots in Europe, so it is a good opportunity to reconnect with those roots, to see where you came from, he says.
Keeping in touch with the people you explored these countries with, also helps the transition process. Stay close to them. They are the only people who understand you, they have seen you at your poorest, dirtiest and best, Simeone advises.
Like Simeone, many students found that seeing familiar faces from their past semester overseas was the only thing that felt comfortable right away. Maria Sciolto, a sophomore at Emerson College, thinks that her bonds to people she met abroad became stronger when she came home. Since everyone was going though the same thing, it was easy to be there for one another, says Sciolto.
Several students also share the desire to keep traveling after having done it for so long because it seems natural to them. Kim McIntyre, another Emerson student, thinks of traveling as more of a need. Europe was just a taste test to get started. Next spring I will be spending a semester in Australia, she says.
While Simeone has made his transition easier by spending lots of time with his fellow castle peers, Hotvedt has some advice for the next group coming back. The biggest lesson you can learn from coming back to the U.S. as a foreigner yourself, is to let go of fear, she says. Just embrace the moment because it is fleeting. Accept yourself as a member of the human race, not just the American race and keep your eyes open. I see beauty more in everything now.
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